Wait, are dads allowed to receive presents on Christmas? Welcome to ParentalGrit, where this dad is going to spend a couple blog posts throwing stuff against the wall on what his fellow fathers might want to receive this December. In case you missed it, I did just confess the other day to only spending $3.99 on my two daughters…which means this daddy probably isn’t seeing much in the way of presents this year. Oh well, perhaps I can inspire some mother into spoiling her man into oblivion this holiday season…
For the high roller mother, or for the mother who sent one too many profanities dad’s way during the last rough night up with a sick child:
BOSE Noise Canceling Headphones WITH Alexa – $349
What does Dad really need for Christmas? Silence? Peace? Solitude? Imagine this scenario…the fire’s crackling, Nat King Cole’s Christmas song plays gently in the background, warm Christmas cookies sit strewn about a holiday platter on the table, the kids are playing quietly with their new toys by the Christmas tree…WAIT FOR IT….and Dad is grinning wildly in the corner with his new headphones in, oblivious to it all. Because, as we all know, the truth is that there is no fire, it’s Sesame Street blaring on the TV, the cookies are ground into the carpet, and the kids are strangling each other while tipping over the Christmas tree. Come on…dad deserves a gift where he can close his eyes and dream of quieter times.
For the wife of the husband desperately trying to run away…for a weekend outdoors
TRSCIND 11-in-1 Survival Kit $39.88
When I read ‘survival kit’, all I’m thinking about is something that should be handed out at hospitals upon delivery of a newborn. Am I little surprised to see a knife in there rather than an iPad pre-loaded with PBS Kids streaming on an endless loop? Perhaps, but that sharp edge can prove valuable when cutting a poopy outfit off your toddler.
For the wife who knows where the real Man Cave is…
RainBowl Motion Sensor Toilet Night Light $23.95
Umm…who wouldn’t want their toilet to light up all different colors in the middle of the night? This is quite the obvious selection…after all, where does Dad spend most of his time? Where does Dad go when he wants to hide from his family? It’s time to spice up the bland porcelain throne with a dash of color.
For the wife who wants nothing more…then to make her husband question why he ever married her…
Essential Oil Diffuser – Aromatherapy $41.95
Who needs a father to your children? Run him off quickly with an essential oil diffuser! Make him run even faster by pitching him on selling essential oils for all the discounts you can both share on your new diffuser! Let’s be clear: if this is what Dad is opening up Christmas morning…then dad is returning every other gift in the household on December 26th.