- Sayonara Single Parenting!
When we only had Eliza, swapping parenting responsibilities came rather easy. She was our first child and both my wife and I craved one-on-one time with her. When one of us stepped out to hit the gym, to see a friend, or even take a nap, there was no hesitation on the other spouse’s part to get some extra cuddles and fun with our daughter. Well now she’s an ornery toddler and her baby sister is still in the highest of high maintenance phases; when I absolutely have to leave my wife alone with them both, I apologize (and vice verse)! We can each absolutely handle them both by ourselves, but it’s a smidge less enjoyment and much more survival.
- Sleep Deprivation!
Having a child spun our world into another dimension in regards to seeking adequate sleep. We laughed at how spoiled we were before Eliza. Now, with a teething toddler providing random midnight wake-ups, early morning risings, and random fits of bedtime reluctance AND a newborn still only sleeping in small increments, we are each barely functioning humans at this point.
- No More Daddy Diaper Dodging
I’ll admit that my wife was so enthusiastic about our first child that I let her change a large majority of her diapers. I never balked if she needed me, but she enjoyed every second of it and I wasn’t called into action for the large majority of diapers. Now that we have two blowouts waiting to happen and 18,000 diapers being consumed per day, Daddy’s hands are cramping just trying to keep pace.
- Large Family Doubts
Both my wife and I wanted a large family and we viewed 3 children as the minimum; even after the firstborn, we still viewed a large family as desirable. When little Everly followed, it cast some serious doubt on how we could survive with 3 kids, let alone 4.
- Bedtime Routine
Whatever happened to the days of ‘just going to bed’? Kids happened, that’s what. A stubborn toddler and her needy sister have abruptly ruined what once was a simple and peaceful routine at night. If I want my girls in bed by 8:00 pm, we basically have to start the routine the night before.
- Daycare Costs
For those who daycare, you can empathize with what it’s like to stare down that first weekly bill when you enroll two children. My jaw dropped when we placed Eliza into daycare; my entire body dropped down in tears when seeing the new ticket price.
- Unwilling Babysitters
It’s fairly easy as a parent to pawn off a lovely little 2 year old at a distant relative’s house for an hour here and there, but now our family and friends are running at the thought of the toddler/newborn combination. It is no longer an option to drop the girls and go…
- Trips into Public
Almost like bedtime, venturing out into public requires several hours of preparation. Once we make it to our destination, the challenge continues. A trip to the grocery store might as well be a trip out-of-state—it basically requires an entire day.
- Alone Time
I have this roommate who mothers my children that I haven’t seen for a few months: my wife. We’re still in the throes of newbornville and this should improve, but carving out some alone time with my wife is simply not a thing that exists currently.
Perhaps it’s the sleep deprivation, perhaps it’s the inability to find a single second of alone time, or maybe it’s the ringing sound of little girls wailing in my ears all day, but the disconnect between what I am and what I was is unreal. Keeping thoughts straight and feelings contained become unconquerable obstacles. If you ever see a blog post that just goes zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz for 17 straight pages, please know that the final neuron in my brain snapped and I officially lost it.
So for those considering having a second child…it’s worth it.